I'm fat. And I've had to live with it since I first started to gain weight in elementary. There is so much baggage that comes along with it, be it emotionally, physically or mentally. Unless you've ever been obese or overweight (And I am not talking like "OH MY GOD I'VE GAINED TWO POUNDS AND NOW I NEED TO STARVE MYSELF TO LOSE IT! GROSS! EW! YUCK!"), you know exactly what I mean.
I think I've seen a lot of what I deal with in my fellow obese friends. We battle with depression and self-esteem, with thoughts of rejection and dealing with criticisms, put downs, and ridicule. We deal with having to walk around with our obesity, with our extra pounds, and constantly fear the thoughts that may or may not be there, the stare downs, the snickering and pointing. I hate walking through malls or other locations packed with average-weighed people. I hate looking around and fearing that they are laughing at me for being fat, that they are singling me out because its not so hard.
I go down memory lane and deal with the ridicule that has been shoved into my face. I have had to deal with the rejection that comes with being fat. I've liked a few men intensely, but it never goes anywhere because I'm just a mess physically, emotionally and mentally. And its always the same stuff that comes out of their mouth ("Oh I feel bad that I don't like her...").
Being fat, being obese, being overweight, however you want to put it, sucks. And its terribly hard to lose weight. I wish it could happen magically, but it doesn't. I was in swimming for three years in high school and I was still fat! The fat just wouldn't come out. And it wasn't like I was eating out back then since I was a ridiculously poor kid with a measly 10 dollar allowance, and I wasn't going to spend that on fast food.
Earlier this week someone wrote that obesity bothered them. Well, its a good thing that person doesn't have to deal with obesity. I wish I didn't have to, but I do, and all that comes with it, including attempting to lose it.
Being fat sucks.
