There is a reason...

There is a reason to why I don't like watching romantic movies... I always end up extremely depressed. Movie love is always so amazing, well usually I suppose.

I've seen Twilight twice... and for someone who scoffed the movie and book from the first time she heard about, its a lot. Twice! I completely underestimated its hold on me. I've always loved the vampire ideal thanks to my high school goth days. And the story is great.

I guess I've always just dreamed of an amazing true love story, especially one that will last for eternity. I'm your usual American girl in that aspect.

Where is the love of my life? I just hope he's worth waiting for... if he's out there.

Surprise Surprise

I didn't get the job.

I suck at life.

My life

is shit.

Idk why.

I feel like shit, physically and mentally. So nauseous. I wish I was nauseous due to pregnancy... but its not.

Ugh. I wanted to be optimistic but I suck right now.

Oh... I have a job interview in the morning at Barnes and Noble bookstore. I hope its not just for to be the buy back people.

Its been a while

I guess I hadn't really felt much like blogging, plus the last month has been hectic and insane. I've been out of town every weekend since the 24th... That's four weekends in a row, and this weekend I am headed to Corpus Christi to hang out with Hillary.

Its been fun... I've been to Houston, then San Antonio twice, then Houston again this past weekend, and to Corpus Christi tonight. I wish I could have gone further out though... maybe out of state. Maybe this Christmas break, if I don't find a job, I'll head out to Chicago with my uncle, or just somewhere... even if its by myself.

I suppose I just like to get away from this town. I wonder how different life would have been if Rudy and I had moved to Arlington, if things hadn't gone awry this summer. I still think about him. I still think about how doing things differently could have prevented him from coming down, leading to his demise. My mom and I could have gone up that weekend to drop off his car, but I wanted to go to a show in Dallas the week after so I didn't want to go. Its ridiculous. Its ridiculous how little decisions can totally change the direction of your life.

Now all I want to do is sleep. I don't want to think, just sleep.

Is this history?

Well of course this is history, every passing day is history. But we are now part of United States presidential history. In a few months, America will have its first Black (really interracial) president.

Should be interesting. Though I voted for McCain, I don't think things will be that bad with Obama. I think I could have gone either way. I was undecided until I went to the polling place and decided on McCain, primarily because McCain and Palin are wise with money.

Well... here's to a history being made!

I hope all ends well.