Maybe its what I want.

Last night I hung out with a bunch of guys. It was fun... but not the same as hanging out with girls.

I was supposed to hang out with someone last night but my nap went on longer than expected and I woke up at 10.30. I figured it was late. Sorry Brenda :( I was looking forward to it.

But anyway, I don't understand where all my friends went. They all still hang out, I'm just not included.

Whatever. I'm hurt. I don't want to hang out with guys all the time, but I guess they're the only ones who want me around.

Guess I'm just a huge, annoying, boring, worthless bitch who deserves to be lonely, huh?

God, I just want to get the hell out of here. Get away from the bullshit and facades. I guess no one really cared about me in the end. I just wasn't fun enough, I just wasn't supernatural enough.. I gues I'm just not what anyone wants around. I just want to delete everyone of them from myspace or facebook so I don't have to read about how much fun they're having hanging out.

Fuck my shitty life. And fuck everyone who doesn't want me around.

Except for Brenda, who wants me around.

I don't know... maybe its what I secretly want somehow. I guess its that self-fulfilling prophecy of myself I've always had... Gonna end up as a lonely crazy cat lady.

A year ago, I had close friends, now they're all gone. Alex and I rarely talk. Anna hasn't said a word to me in months. Liza and I are just not meant to be friends or something.

God, even my own family doesn't want me around.

Why haven't I killed myself yet? Seriously. What do I have to live for?