Death is on my mind, its always on my mind lately. Thinking of who's next to die. Its inevitable, someone dies everyday, every hour. I wonder when I'm going to die. I wonder if it will be natural causes, a freak accident, murder, or something else.
The sirens are getting closer. I wonder if its someone in my neighborhood. I wonder if its someone I know.
I have to go on living while people are dying. I suppose that is life.
I don't know if I'd rather be dead or alive. Sometimes I feel like I conquer the world, other times I just feel so
defeated.I remember seeing this little cartoon on commonties.com and I knew that feeling.
Sometimes I just want someone to be with in the middle of the night, to talk through all the crazy thoughts that run through my mind, to tell my secrets to, to just be.
I don't think it'll ever happen. And I can hope and wish, but hoping and wishing don't bring anything to fruition.
I think that maybe my life will be happier with someone, but the truth is only I can make myself happy, to live with the life I have and to love who I am.
I may never be happy.
4 comments:
a gorilla friend sounds nice.
very nice.
Death was on my mind too... but I guess it's normal. Don't worry about it, stop thinking about the stuff that gets you down.
wow, thats actually a really good depiction of the feeling.
I figured a while back that I was immensely more satisfied with the state or being content rather than happy.....
Happy is too high I think, why live my life in the extremes of happy and sad when theres so much more in between. I rarely admit to happiness anymore cz its not true.
I think about death to, especially when i hear about angels. And sirens make me sad, too, I always hope that person is ok, too. And sometimes I think I would like someone to talk to in the middle of the night, also, which is usually why i end up talking to you online in the middle of the night! But i don't feel like that quadrapledgic (?) guy with a gorrilla over head... idk about that part...
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