DI NO AL HALLOWEEN

I don't understand why people could hate Halloween so much! Its so fun! Its great!

This year, I'm going up to San Antonio for the Halloween weekend. I'll get to see my lovely Alex! I miss him! And I'll get to hang out with Sammy, my awesome cousin!

The Houston trip was amazing! Definitely very, very fun.

Random thoughts:

Its strange that so many people that I knew as a teenager who were Christian have changed very much. I remember when everyone very religious. I don't think it was necessarily their fault, we just believed what we were told by the authority figures. But things change, people change, and I hope/think we're all the better for those changes.

I wish I had never known that side of Christianity, but its something that is part of my history and has made me who I am now. I hated that period of my life. I absolutely abhorred it. I remember all the bullshit I was fed. I remember the bullshit emotional situations I was placed in. I thank God that its not like that in my life anymore. I thank God for truth.

Though I miss belonging to a church, I may still be scarred with all that happened then. Afraid of the abuse of authority and the loveless relationships. Afraid of never being good enough or measuring up to standards.

It wasn't all bad though. Don't get me wrong, there are many moments I cherish, and many lessons I learned. I guess I just didn't agree with some of what was taught, and the way it was handled.

I want to find a church, but I have no desire to go out and look.

I love the Wilhite meetings, but I still desire something more.

I have lovely, amazing close friends right now. And I love them and cherish them. Maybe that's all I really need.

Though I still want something more.

I don't know what it is.

Well... maybe I do know.